I cannot recall ever having such a thought about myself. Ever.
I don't even know how to explain it. It still doesn't make total sense to me. I have on absolutely no make-up (I don't wear it anymore), I've been pretty run down with bronchitis for a week, and I had just gotten out of bed. Yet the first thing that entered my mind upon seeing my reflection was..........positive.
Guys may not understand this, but the ladies will. I may not have put quite as much effort into it as other women, but I have spent almost my entire life trying to be something I'm not. Magazine covers that you spot at Walmart morph into "goals" that you need to try to meet. Advertising assaults us with worldly standards of Good Enough and then tells us to waste our money on their never-ending products because "we're worth it." What am I worth? For as long as I can remember, I've been worth how even my skin tone looks. I've been worth $10 foundation. I've been worth mascara + eyeliner + powder + blush + bronzer + eyeshadow + concealer. I've been worth endlessly searching for a right color. I've been worth Never Quite There.
When I looked in the mirror this morning, I noticed that I actually have freckles. I honestly didn't know that I had them. You might be thinking, "How could you not know something like that?" I'll tell you how: when I didn't have a pound of stuff on my face, I would not look at myself closely. I couldn't really stand to.
All other things aside, I cannot even begin to express how good it feels to not hate my face. I never thought it was possible. The thought never even crossed my mind. I never knew it all these years, but I feel like I must have been carrying around a 200-pound sack of concrete for about 20+ years. I literally feel lighter. As sappy as it sounds, I truly could cry thinking about the difference; that is how incredibly strong this sense of freedom and gratitude is.
May I never cheapen the blood of Christ by believing that I can improve on what He has made. May I never cheapen Christ's death by believing that He has been unable to deliver the sound mind His Word says He's given me. May I never allow any thought about myself to exalt itself against the knowledge of God.
I am worth far more than what the world says I am, and so are you.
I'm so glad you see that in yourself....didn't I tell you that a couple of months ago???? Love ya girl! You beautiful THANG you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! It is awesome isn't it? God is soo good. I still am challenged at times but I have had moments as these that when I do struggle I hold on tight to. May God bless all women with this understanding..& men too!
ReplyDeleteawesome post Nathalie...and a truth that I think we all experience thru the grace of aging. You are much younger than me, I didn't have that moment until after I turned 40! Glad you can appreciate the gift of you sooner than I was able to! So sad that it took me that long to value God's handiwork...He NEVER makes a mistake and He always forms and fashions beautifully as His heart desires! May we see more and more of His heart's desire in us and appreciate it! XO
ReplyDeleteNathalie this is so encouraging I wish I had words to express how your thoughts have affected my own.
ReplyDeleteBrother Bobby Dean