How can scary change feel so great?

Yesterday my husband and I went on a hunt for some good frozen custard. Rita's downtown was closed, but we managed to make it to Andy's. Their frozen custard was pretty tasty. :) And how blessed am I to have such a loving husband? I've been sick with bronchitis, and he didn't hesitate to drive me all over Fayetteville to find frozen custard for my sore throat. I love Gerry a lot.

Anyway, yesterday's outing was a bit of an experience for me since this was my first time wearing a head covering (kind of like this one, only mine said, "Think Green!" all over it) in public. Pair that with a long skirt, no make-up, and a modest shirt, and I felt like everyone (okay, not everyone) was staring at me. It was..........a tad uncomfortable.

I suppose I'm coming out of the closet here, for lack of a better way to know how to put it. Something within me has been crying out, insisting that there must be a whole lot more to living as a Christian than I've been led to believe. I've been doing a lot of thinking, reading, etc., about the early Church. I feel strongly pulled in this direction. Something tells me that modern Christianity has become extremely watered down. I need to try to get back to the source. I want to know how the first Christians did this thing called life.

41 Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. 42 Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.

43 Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. 44 For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”

(Mark 12:41-44)

I see so much more than Jesus addressing money in this lesson. I wonder to myself how I can be more like this woman who gave everything she had. What do I have to give? A lot of people in today's churches give a whole lot of things: they get involved in beaucoups of ministries, they expand churches, they make sure they listen to new Christian music, they have Christian t-shirts (and bumper stickers, and jewelry, and décor, and books, and on and on and on). But what about the rest of their lives? Are they putting Christ first in everything? What about in their entertainment choices? (Even something as seemingly wholesome as "The Princess Bride" uses God's name in vain.) What about in every dollar they spend? How many have thought about selling that 2,000 square-foot house and downsizing..........just to give whatever is made from the sale, back? How many girls have considered giving up tight Christian t-shirts for something that isn't revealing how much they've "got"?

God, I want to give you everything, every part of me. There are countless things that are so worldy that I've set my eyes upon. Help me, Father. I want to live a life of sacrifice. I thank You for all the things You've been teaching me through Your Word and through Your disciples here on earth. I never imagined that the freedom I'm finding in obedience would feel so..........freeing! And it is such a wonderful, undeserved thing. Help me to press in and press on. I don't want to look back like Lot's wife. I want to keep my eyes only on You. Please help me to give everything I can possibly give to You....

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

(Colossians 3:1-3)