Dear "Rolling Stone"

Dear "Rolling Stone,"

Thank you for littering my mailbox this afternoon. I know that I subscribed to you, oh, about 9 years ago, but really..........you have the nerve to show your face again? I thought we had an understanding. For some strange reason, seeing a brunette in roller skates, gold socks, and a cliché too-short school girl skirt with her butt hanging out just doesn't do it for me. Maybe I'm supposed to like the blonde cheerleader with her backside plopped atop the bike's handlebars? Either way, it's a tad distasteful. Gross. And pathetic.

Kudos to your photographers for boosting the popularity of these two women, especially among the red-blooded American male population. I'm sure Issue 1102 is gracing the tank of many toilets. Women have come so very far since 1920! Thank you for honoring and dignifying women everywhere, but particularly those who are fortunate enough to grace your cover.

And, needless to say, your stunning cover makes me want to never miss an episode of Glee; I'm not quite sure what I was thinking. I'm obviously missing out on some high quality, thought provoking television. Oh, wait. I don't have TV anymore. My bad.

All in all, I have absolutely no interest in your magazine. It's a rag, a rag that isn't even really about music anymore. I'm sure someone else will gladly pay $19.95 per year for your amazing commentaries and inspiring pictures, but that someone isn't me.

Sincerely,
Nathalie