I think I just felt awe for the first time....ever.

Driving a country road at twilight is an experience. You should do it sometime if you haven't. I don't know why, but while driving down Old Whiteville Road, I couldn't help but notice how the pines looked like they were scraping the sky. And the sky, oh my goodness, the sky. I cannot even begin to tell you what color it was. "Dark blue" would be an insult. I am utterly amazed by how the sky changed so dramatically, so quickly, yet so untraceably from twilight to dusk to night. Things seem to glow at dusk, though I cannot explain what that means exactly. It almost felt like seeing God's breath rest on creation. And then I realized that God not only made this for me to see, but He is there with me in that very moment. I felt His presence. I really felt it, and it was more real than this keyboard I'm touching right now.

I wanted to cry, but I could not. It was something stronger than crying that I was feeling...

I can only say that it must have been awe.

You see, I often hear about "counting the cost" of following Christ. And yes, it's true that I should know exactly what it means to be a disciple before taking that step. But there comes a certain point when we need to realize that there really is no cost.

Even on my best day and in my best mood with my best intentions, my best "good deed" is like a filthy rag when compared to His holiness. There is no cost to follow Him. I have to give up things of the flesh, but I gain contentment and joy in their place. I may suffer persecution, but I will still have peace. I may be misunderstood and judged by all those dear to me, but the Father embraces me. No, there is no cost. The only cost involved is that He spent His life for a person like me. I am but a teensy speck of a speck on the timelime of history and all those that have gone before me. How many moments of unspeakable beauty have I taken for granted? How many moments of communion with Him did I miss?

How many moments have you missed?

The world sees and soon forgets. Oh, God, I don't want to be like the world. I want to see You everywhere I go, everywhere I find myself. And I want to remember what I experienced tonight for years to come. I don't want to forget. Help me to be like You.